How To Perform Cunnilingus
Some people consider oral sex the
most intimate of all sex acts. Cunnilingus, the technical term for performing
oral sex on a woman, can be incredibly intimate. To be good at it you have to be
an excellent reader of her body, her breathing, her movements, and what she may
be telling you with words. Everything you do is for your partner in that
moment.
Here's How:
Clean
yourself up!
Make sure your hands
are clean, and your nails are trimmed as you'll probably want to use your hands
as well as your mouth on her. If you have facial hair and shave regularly, be
sure to do it now, nothing kills the mood quite like sandpaper on her sensitive
parts.
Get
wet
A lot of people have
preconceived notions about the taste and/or smell of their partner’s genitals.
If you're anxious about this, suggest a romantic bath or shower together and
then go down on her. Getting naked and wet with each other is never a bad idea,
and as you get more comfortable you will probably find that your partners taste
and smell trigger more arousal than anything else. Some people use flavored
lubricants, and many dental dams (great for safer sex) are flavored
also.
Start
slowly
Most women won’t
want to go from zero to oral sex in 30 seconds. Take your time and ease into it.
Do other things you know she loves. Use your hands and mouth all over her
body—which will nicely foreshadow what is to come. When she’s good and
excited—her hips are thrusting and the moans pretty regular, head
south.
Get
comfortable
Both of you will
enjoy this more if you’re both physically comfortable. Use pillows and be
creative with oral sex positions so that you are both relaxed and feel like you
can move around. Some people will find it hard on their neck to lie between
their partners legs with their head poised over her vulva. For others this will
work just great. Remember that it’s okay to change positions and move
around.
Get the lay
of the land
If you don’t have
the body parts, you may want to brush up on your female genital anatomy . Most
of the attention with cunnilingus is on the clitoris, but every woman is
different, and there may be other parts of her that will take oral sex from the
everyday to the out of this world. Use your fingers to spread her lips and take
a good look at her clitoris, her labia, her mons, her vagina, her perineum and
her anus.
When in doubt, go slow
A lot of women have
very sensitive clits, so don’t attack her vulva as if it were a juicy ripe
peach. Flatten your tongue and use wide slow strokes to explore her inner and
outer lips, her vagina, and her clitoris. Imagine licking an ice cream cone.
Start at the perineum and lick up and around her clit and back down the other
side.
Check the
hood
Most women prefer to
have their clitorises licked through the "clitoral hood." This is a fold of skin
that covers the actual glans of the clitoris, which is extremely
sensitive.
Experiment
with different strokes
In general, women
tend to like firm pressure and repetitive motion. Quick tongue flicks against
the clitoris can be irritating. If you’re not sure, ask her to give you feedback
while you try different kinds of strokes—circular, side-to-side, up-and-down.
Don’t take it personally if she flinches—discovering what pleases is often a
process of trial and error—just try something else.
Let her give
you a hand
If you've ever seen
her masturbate, you have some idea how she likes her clit to be touched. Ask her
to show you now, or you can offer her your hand and ask her to demonstrate the
kind of stroking she prefers by placing hers on top of
yours.
Use your
mouth
Take her clit in
your mouth and gently suck on it. Use your mouth to suck on or nibble her
labia.
Add
penetration
When she’s good and
excited, add some lubricant to your fingers or toy and gently insert it into her
vagina. Move them in and out using short but firm strokes. Put your mouth back
on her clitoris and lick her while you penetrate her. This won’t do it for all
women, but many love the experience of clitoral stimulation and
penetration.
Keep a
steady pace, try not to stop
Women like steady stimulation, so
don’t stop unless you need to come up for air. You’ll see the signs when she’s
getting ready to go over the top—her moans, her thighs pressing against your
head, her body arching, her hands tightening on your head! She’ll let you know
when to stop.
Tips:
Don't forget the
rest of her body. In terms of what's nearby, you can incorporate the perineum
and vaginal opening into your oral sex. Let your tongue travel down and pop in
and out of the vagina occassionally
If you are using a sex toy for
penetration, she might prefer to work the dildo or vibrator inside her while
you're licking. This allows you to concentrate, and her to get the rhythm she
likes best.
If your mouth or
tongue tires, give it a rest, but replace the stimulation with your hand or a
vibrator (unless she wants a rest too).
Male partners need
to know that it can take women longer to come than men, and many women are
anxious about this. Whatever you do, don't make her feel bad about how long it's
taking, and hang in there for the long haul. If you need to stop or change
things up, that’s okay, but don’t make it about her “taking too
long”.